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Graveyard Blood-Chuck

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Graveyard Blood-Chuck poster art

He should not have had that third trick-or-treater.

Back in Transylvania, in the old days? Yes, the peasants were lean muscle and sinews. Meat and bones that had hearty blood. These were different times, sugar filled bodies, veins chugging along with viscid, unpronounceable preservatives. My kingdom for a farmer's blood!

What came up was mostly a serum of candy corn and red cell grume. There was a sound like a drain being unclogged by a mule.

And down in the wet dark under the sod, something with no manners whatsoever smelled sugar coming through the topsoil and thought: finally. The dead had little in the way of manners these days.

Vlad felt so much better. He thought to himself, perhaps he'd try one of those neighborhoods that handed out apples and other fruits instead of candy...

Graveyard Blood-Chuck t-shirt
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SKU 29273708

From The Morgue

There was a whole industry built on delighted disgust in the eighties, and every bit of it lived in a kid's coat pocket: sticker cards with grotesque little portraits, scratch-and-sniff that smelled genuinely wrong, novelty candy engineered to look like something a doctor would want to see. Parents hated it, which was the point. The gross-out has always been the most democratic form of horror — it needs no backstory, no lore, and no lighting budget. It only needs you to have eaten too much.

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